I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
