My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize