PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
