i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
