Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This house was built for laser tag.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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