you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
