Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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