idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize