Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
