I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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