butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
