at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
