But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
