i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
