I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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