you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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