What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
