Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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