I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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