Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
