She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
