my mouth tastes like poor choices
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
