I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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