That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
