Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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