I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
