I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
PANTIES FOUND
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