he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
