I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize