Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
