I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
