Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
