Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She said her name was "party"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
