Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
