i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
