Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
