were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
