We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I FOUND THE LEGS
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
