maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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