I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
