Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
