Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
