Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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