if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i out mim tonsoeep
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
