Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
