This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
