And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
