Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize