I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
