What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
