So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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