I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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