Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
