I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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