Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize