If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The air taste purple.
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