My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish you could order shots online.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
