I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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