We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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