I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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